Been a while, stupid RSI.
So I’m a bit blocked on what to do next with the main Tentacle Cartoon, so I thought I’d do something relatively quick and inane and low-fi to try and ease myself into it.
Advice and comments on this script are very very welcome.
Sorry for the unusual script-format. It’s designed to be machine-readable for my make-things-easier computer programs.
Desc: Drunk Man and Shandy are in a bar, drinking. Through the window the "Drunk Alert" shines into the sky. Shandy: Drunk Man! It's the Drunk Alert! The city is in trouble. They need us! DrunkMan: Quick Shandy! Down in one! Desc: Drunk man finishes his beer quickly. Shandy takes a couple of sips. DrunkMan: To the Drunk-Mobile! Desc: But Drunk Man, should you be driving? DrunkMan: Oh, good point. I'll get us some Train Drinks... Desc: Drunk man is at the bar. DrunkMan: Two Mango Daiquiris barkeep. Better make it snappy! The city needs us! Desc: Shot of the two of them on a train, drinking their drinks. Desc: At the police commissioners office Commissioner: Drunk Man! Where have you been? DrunkMan: Sorry commissioner, *belch* had to wait for poor Shandy here to finish his drink. Then the barkeep was slow making our Train-Daiquiris Commissioner: Never mind that now Drunk Man. There's trouble afoot! Captain Career is back! He's been enslaving our citizens again. DrunkMan: That bastard! Will he never give up?! Commissioner: He was last seen in the Banking District. Better move quick Drunk Man! DrunkMan: Never fear commissioner, *sips drink* We're on it. Shandy! To the Drunk Mobile! Shandy: But Drunk Man, It's parked at the pub. DrunkMan: Oh yeah. Right. Shandy: Bus? DrunkMan: Better get some cider in for the journey then! Desc: Shot of Drunk Man and Shandy on the bus. They are drinking cider. Desc: At the Banking District. Captain Career has people chained up in cubicals. He's whipping them. They're forced to cold-call insurance sales. CaptainCareer: No, you may NOT go to the toilet. CaptainCareer: Stop talking you two! Desc: Shandy bursts through the door. Shandy: Not so fast Captain Career! CaptainCareer: Bwahhaha, You think you can stop me alone little man? Shandy: What? Desc: Shandy turns around. Drunk man isn't there. Shandy: What the? God Dammit! Hang on.... Desc: At a bar... DrunkMan: Ah, there you are Shandy. I'm just getting a quick drink for the battle. Fancy a Bobby Burns? Shandy: No Drunk Man, we need to... DrunkMan: Oh. In more of a Moscow Mule sort of mood? Very well, good idea Shandy. Barkeep, we'll have two Moscow Mules, and perhaps a pint of Old Musty Barn for the road. Desc: Back at the cubical farm Drunkman and Shandy burst through into the office. DrunkMan: Not so fast Captain Career! It's gone noon! These workers deserve a pub lunch! CaptainCareer: They'll have no such thing! They'll get sandwiches at their desk and they'll like it! DrunkMan: Not under my watch! Desc: Drunk Man flies through the air, kicking towards Captain Career. He misses, lands awkwardly, tipping over a cubical. Things fall over. Drunk Man barely saves his drink. Desc: Shandy is calmly walking between the cubes, he's slipping a bit of paper onto each desk. DrunkMan: Oh, sorry there miss... I was just. Man, nearly spilled my drink! Desc: Shandy continues his calm and purposeful actions, A cubical-farm-worker picks up the note. CaptainCareer: Your drunken fighting skills are no match for my trained workforce Drunk Man! DrunkMan: Your fiendish plans can never beat the power of booze Captain Career! Desc: Drunk Man lunges again. This time tripping over his own feet. He stumbles drunkenly into a wall. CaptainCareer: Bwahahaha! Ignore this idiot, my minions, get on with your work! I'll dispatch him shortly. Desc: A worker picks up the note. We can read it this time. It reads: "Unionisation meeting, free beer! Time - now, location - The local pub." Desc: Captain Career pulls out a gun, pointing it at Drunk Man. CaptainCareer: Say "Cheers" Drunk Man, I'm calling time on your life. Desc: Captain Career aims. He pulls the trigger, The bullet flies in bullet time. It smashes through Drunk Man's glass! The glass shatters! The bullet somehow bounced of Drunk Man's chest. Desc: The workers are all filing out of the room. DrunkMan: You spilled my drink! You bastard! CaptainCareer: And now I'm going to spill your BRAINS! Shandy: Um. Captain Career? CaptainCareer: What? Yes? Shandy: Your workers are all in the pub. CaptainCareer: What!!? Shandy: They're unionising. That'll be the end of your exploitation, you monster. Desc: Captain Career looks around, The office is empty. He is bemused. CaptainCareer: My Slaves! No! What happened? DrunkMan: My drunken powers have defeated you! Shandy: They're forming a union. CaptainCareer: No! My one weakness! Drunk Man! How did you do it? DrunkMan: By the power of booze my friend. Always carry a hip-flask. Desc: Drunk Man pulls out a hip-flask. It's dented by a bullet-mark. He takes a sip. CaptainCareer: No! Narrator: And so the day was saved, The workers were freed, And all by the power of Booze Man!
Another version. Ditched the political nonsense and went with shear crude poo-jokes instead.
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